Sunday, 26 July 2020

Coming out of Lockdown Anxiety


Anyone else have post lockdown anxiety? 

I haven't really joined the great race to normality yet and I'm not sure at what point I should? I know we're all going at our own pace at the moment and I really miss brunch with the girls, coffee shop dates alone and just a mooch around the shops with the little one but I'm also not there yet... I keep joking that I'll rejoin the world in 2021 - so far I've spent a couple of hours in a shopping centre and nipped to a coffee house for takeaway coffee but anything more than that seems too much right now. 

To be honest, I've been missing pre-covid life a lot recently and I feel very claustrophobic from doing the same mundane shit every day. I know we can shop, brunch blah blah but with Arran working from home, the little one and I come as a package and I just can't bring myself to take him anywhere like that yet. I feel like an idiot moaning about it because it could be worse and we're happy & safe but man am I craving a little normality. 


Our last day of normality was March 12th, it was when Covid cases first started to rise in the UK and everyone rushed to buy up all the toilet roll and antibacterial gel - it was also the week Yumnuts were launched and that was my real reason for heading into the city centre. 

Maybe I was a little naive but I was so surprised at how quiet it was, our local shopping centre was near on empty so I took full advantage and spent ages in Lush smelling bath bombs with Joshua and had a good ol' mooch around Zara and Flying Tiger before picking up some cakes and having a walk through the old town before ending up at my parents. 

Within ten days the country had plunged into lockdown, I'm not sure how you all felt but I was a little shell-shocked that it had happened. Sure, I was very pro lockdown but when it actually happened I was a little surprised and now here we here, four months later and it seems as though the UK has all but gone back to normal but I'm not ready. 

I've spoken a few times on how lockdown has given me the chance to re-access our lives, how busy we were and how much we were saying yes to things and we'll be taking this forward with us - the go slow life has been something we so desperately needed without even realising but already I'm finding I'll be sat there, the weather is dry and a little part of me will be like "Get up and do something, we're allowed now, it's sunny - you have no excuse to sit and do nothing". 

It's gonna take some getting used to!

I need to change my mindset a little more and forgive myself more for sometimes wanting to sit and just chill out with my family. 


With masks becoming mandatory - it's definitely helped my feelings about doing more normal things again. I don't drive so I always rely on public transport and knowing everyone will be wearing masks makes me feel more comfortable. My new life motto will be "mask up, wash hands and keep your distance!" going forward and I'm okay with that.

I'd quite like social distancing to stay forever, to be honest, but if lockdown has taught us anything, it's how selfish others can be. I sometimes wonder if that is what worries me the most, the fact that other people just don't care and rather than respectfully move out of the way or wear a mask - they'd rather be rude and argue. 

I think for the moment our lives will still look very different to what it did - you couldn't pay me to step into a soft play centre and we won't be spending evenings in restaurants or bars, heading to theme parks or even attending blog events yet but I'm also aware that could completely change again next month (apart from soft play - I hate soft play!). 

The morning I was going into the city centre for the first time I freaked out - I felt okay at first but as I got myself ready to leave the house - my hands felt clammy and I was on the verge of tears. It seems like such a big thing to do when previously it was something we did all the time. Afterwards, as I was sat in the sun with my sister it was as though a wash of relief went over me and I felt good for doing it. I needed to because I needed to see what it was like and the longer I put it off the longer I'd be building up a fear to do it. 


With each new step, I'll hopefully start to feel more confident but it's going to take some getting used to. At the moment our home lives haven't really changed - Arran is still working from home, as am I but that's no different for me and we still have Joshua home with us. He's due back at Pre-School in September but we'll be reaccessing that when the time comes. 

We've been very lucky that Joshua has handled lockdown and being home with just us so incredibly well but we both know he needs that normality, time with his friends and the chance to run wild too. 

It's been a big ol' learning curve for everyone but I'm hoping this is the beginning of the end. In the meantime, I'll just buy pretty masks to protect our family and stay cautious. 

You never know, we may be eating dinner out sooner than we think.

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15 comments

  1. I'm the same, I have anxiety about going to pubs and restaurants. However, having said that I've booked 4 holidays, 3 in the UK and 1 to spain in August and September. Going on a plane gives me serious anxiety but it's something I'm going to need to overcome. Anyway, great blog post, really enjoyed reading it!

    Zoey | www.zoeyolivia.com

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  2. I’m the same, I’ve had some real anxiety over doing anything. I’ve tried to take some small steps, but it’s tough especially with a teeny one to think of as well. I know Emilia needs some more interaction now though so I’m balancing her needs with my anxiety and focusing on that.

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  3. As I've been shielding and live in Wales, I'm in lockdown until August 16th and I'm already dreading the first trip to a shop, I want to gain some normality back, but I'm so anxious about coming into contact with people after everything! I loved reading this lovely! x

    Lucy | www.lucymary.co.uk

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  4. I'm definitely more anxious around other people as I've seen so many people not wearing masks, or wearing them incorrectly and I don't trust them to take precautions or keep their distance so I doubt I'll be going out that often anytime soon. I'm quite happy staying at home with my partner and our cat since when I'm not travelling, I don't go out that often anyway.

    I love your mask and I'm also enjoying getting some pretty masks in order to show my personality.

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  5. South Africa was in a totally lockdown for over a month where people couldn’t even go to work. We have had different stages of lockdown and still have it some businesses has still not open. It has been really hard but makes sense. We haven’t been able to have family over either which has been the hardest.

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  6. I've definitely felt post lockdown anxiety. I've just started going out a bit more and doing a few more "normal" things recently and I'm definitely finding myself more anxious than usual x

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  7. My anxiety is around everything opening potentially too soon! Your mask is really cute x

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  8. It's such a weird time - I was so anxious and claustrophobic, but now we're going back to 'normal' that also feels a bit overwhelming

    Jasmine xx

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  9. Everything is so hard and confusing but ultimately you have to make the best decision for you and your family! I just can't wait to travel but I'm not getting on a plane any time soon haha x

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  10. I fully fully relate to this. I got on a train for the first time since March this week and I was on edge the whole time, it was nice to finally get out but I didn't really like the constant worry. So far I've been for coffee twice and a friend's back garden once and that's about all I'm ready for at the minute. Feels so weird being away from pubs and restaurants for this long, especially now they're opening up again but it's important we all do things at a pace we're comfortable with x

    Sophie

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  11. Thanks for sharing, I had the same anxiety about going to other places, than my work which is a shop! But I seem to have got better at it maybe I'm becoming less nervous now, but then it come back when I have an anxious moment again! hope you will feel confident enough soon to go back to normal(ish) :)

    Nic | Nic's Adventures & Bakes

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  12. I totally get where you're coming from. As long as I know I'm taking the right precautions and doing what is best/safe for us, I'm OK, but what really stresses me out is people who don't take the safety measure seriously :(

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  13. I was a right mess going to my local town since lockdown, I couldn't wait to get home! X

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  14. I 100% relate to this. I’ve only been grocery shopping since the beginning of lockdown. We’ve not visited anywhere or ate out since before it was all enforced. I wish the distancing would remain permanent too.
    The thing I miss most is planning travel and having things to look forward too. I’m grateful myself and my loved ones are all well at this point and have our jobs so I feel lucky really.

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  15. I think it's completely valid and normal to be feeling these feelings! Everything is so up in the air and so far away from how life was 'before', we are all just trying to process it in our own way. I'm glad you managed to make it back into town though, as I think that will help remove a few of the fears. I'm not scared as such as I live in Scotland and there are relatively few serious cases here, but I am definitely a bit more cautious. It will be a long time before I feel comfortable going out for a meal and I haven't been in any shop that wasn't Tesco haha! Sending you and your family lots of love! x

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