Sunday 17 January 2016

Interracial Relationships & Everyday Racism.

I quite like just rambling on here and it seems you do too so I thought I'd finally bite the bullet and write or more appropriately rant about something that I've wanted to for a very long time. I've been in an interracial relationship for almost four years now although we just call it a relationship. You see, love doesn't have a colour but for many ignorant people in this painstakingly racist world we live in, it does. I'm white and my boyfriend is Asian. I've lived in a predominantly white area for most of my life and didn't experience any racism until I moved to Spain and was referred to as a 'Gringo'. Even then I didn't see it as racism and just shrugged it off, I couldn't give a toss what they called me.

I come from a very multicultural, loving family, race has never, ever been an issue and my parents have brought me up to see everyone as equal so I find it astounding that in this day and age, people have a problem with OUR relationship because we're of a different race and colour. We had been in a relationship for six months when we first experienced interracial discrimination, we were walking along, holding hands by a very busy, local shopping centre when two woman stopped, looked us both up and down, tutted then spat at our feet. I was fuming and he had to stop me from saying something. To him, it was normal and something he had experienced all his life. 

We've had the usual "Why are you stealing our women/men", very obvious stares from people being anything but discreet and comments made very loudly. I can't believe I've even used the term usual but that's exactly how it feels. We've experienced things like this on and off throughout our relationship, I think I just notice it less now. The discrimination doesn't just come from one race, we've experienced it from Asians and Caucasians. I've had to grow a thick skin to it quite quickly because calling people out on it every time was just draining and a waste of my time. Those small minded individuals are never going to change and they'll never see the world for what it really is.

According to a study, my generation believe that we live in a post racial society, believing it is a problem that lies with the older generations and this is 100% not true. We experience casual racism on a weekly, if not daily basis from all generations. We are told what adorable children we will have because they would be mixed race, we're asked if his specialty in the kitchen is certain types of food and if his favourite beer is Cobra. Neither myself or him follow a faith, it's not like we're bringing shame upon a family and who gives a shit if we are, it's 2016. Love doesn't have a colour, race or gender. The only thing that is important is that the two people in the relationship are happy, in love and having the best time of their lives. 

Due to recent events, if anything the UK is getting increasingly more racist which in turn causes more problems in a country that we will one day bring children into. I don't want to have to worry about our children experiencing racism but it'll no doubt be something they and us will have to deal with. Racism doesn't just happen, it is taught. It is picked up on by children and young adults by the people that have raised them or guided them poorly in life. I read an article in Grazia by Lucy Dartford that you can read here, a couple of years ago where she spoke about her own interracial relationship and it struck a chord with me, I ripped out the page and have kept it in my bedside table ever since.

Interracial discrimination is sadly something we just have to face in our relationship, more often than not we ignore it, we don't want to give some idiot the satisfaction of knowing we've noticed them. I will occasionally say something because I do like seeing their shocked face when I pull them up on their disgusting behaviour but would you really expect anything different from me? It's disappointing that this is still a part of the world in 2016, but what we experience is a small fraction of what others have to deal with. It should be spoken about more, it should be shouted down and those who condone interracial discrimination should be made to look the fool. 

Our relationship is our relationship and no one else's. 

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